Coronavirus

Coronavirus

2020-05-06

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English

2020.02.009

Cumberland (Me.)

Coronavirus..Facebook Author Post #1

We are all grieving today. Grieving freedom, fearlessness, and our future. This is no small thing.

No matter how this resolves, we will never again believe "it can't happen to me. " We will be like our grandparents and parents who held onto their Great Depression habits like transitional objects, burned into their psyches and soothing those fears. When my mother died, she had very little money, but, as I joked to my brother, it was deposited in small savings accounts, a few hundred dollars apiece, in every bank in Southern Maine.

I want to be intentional with my grief, and the habits I develop in response to it. I want them to be based on kindness and sharing, first with my neighbors, then in a wider circle if I can. Interdependence is how we will all survive. I want to reach out and a weave a few strands into that safety net near me.

I want deprivation to become appreciation. As the cans dwindle in my pantry cabinet, I do not want to rush to replace them, but maybe dig a few rows deeper, and use up the excess that is always there" just in case."

I want time to be a gift, not a weight on my hands. I want to be planful and thoughtful about how I use it. I can read, and write, things that always give me pleasure. But at least once a day, I want to do something I would not do if life were normal.... Listen to the opera CD we brought back from Vienna when we went on an anniversary trip years ago and saw 4 performances in a long weekend..... organize a "can you guess whose baby picture this is??" FaceTime with my granddaughters, who are holed up in a remote ski area, unable to ski, but not able to return home to Manhattan either.

So yes, I will do my share of cleaning drawers, and watching movies, and things that pass the time. But time passes without my help.

So I do not want to "pass" the time. I want to spend it wisely, invest it in memories, and feelings and experiences that make this virus seed something more than fear.

Grief is about all the things we cannot get back.
And about finding ways to accept that change and be grateful for what it brings.